[img]396|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img] Last weekend I went shopping for a bathing suit, and came out of two stores with two pairs of sneakers. With the exception of the bathtub, I visit a body of water about once every five years. I prefer a swimming pool. It’s contained, calm, and chlorinated. It’s also a step up from the fire hydrants I played in as a child in Brooklyn, New York. No swimsuit required, just a tee shirt and cut-off shorts. But I digress.
My mission on this particular shopping excursion was to get a new swimsuit. I’m going on vacation this summer, and my friend’s saltwater pool is in my plans. The last time I bought a swimsuit was about 10 years ago. Let’s just say my body has, uh, changed a bit since then.
I went to the only department store where I have a charge account. Somehow I reasoned that since I don’t have a balance on that card it’s okay to use it, even though the finance charge is probably higher than on my regular credit card. Tried on about seven bathing suits—bikinis, tankinis, one- pieces. Patterns, solids, straps this way, hooks that way, how in the world do I get this on?
My Own Reality Show
Walking out of the dressing room without any of them, I imagined myself becoming a swimsuit designer for real women like myself. I’d leave the frump out and put the support in. I decided to console myself in the shoe department, where I found a decent pair of sneakers for $50, marked down from some ridiculous amount. It distracted me from my original goal, but inspired me to go to the shoe warehouse store a few doors down. That store was three stories high, filled with rows and rows of every kind of shoe you could imagine. Name a style of shoe—they have it. Problem is, the only type of shoe I found that I really liked was, you guessed it, sneakers. Oh, I also liked a pair of slip-on shoes made of green felt. They looked like elf shoes, but they were so comfortable! I could pretend that Bilbo Baggins was my neighbor. I resisted. This time.
Here’s the issue: the trend in summer shoes this year is high-heeled sandals with fringe. Not only do they look ridiculous, they are also incredibly impractical. There’s also the gladiator sandal look. I don’t think I’ll be donning a bristle-combed helmet or metal skirt any time soon. The toe thing in flip-flops hurts my toes. The sandals that were comfortable reminded me of that guy from Nazareth. No, I struck out with sandals. But I got another $50 pair of sneakers. They will really help me in the pool, I know.
Undaunted, I set out again the next day, this time with a friend. At the first store, it was just like the day before, except that my friend was there to agree with me. Together, we rejected suit after suit. My bathing suit buddy told me not to give up, and we went to another store. And there it was.
Here Comes a Suit That Suits
Packed in the middle of several choices was a one piece swimming sensation; chocolate brown, cinched at the waist, support where it was needed. It even looked good on the hanger! Its claim to fame was that it had three times more spandex than other suits. What a difference more spandex makes! It packs you in, but not uncomfortably. It lifts you up, without squishing. It gives you curves where you’re supposed to have them. When I put that bathing suit on, I did a little dance. That, to me, is the sign of a winner. I will not buy anything that doesn’t feel absolutely right when I put it on. If I think to myself, “Well, maybe it will look good if I…” Then I don’t buy it. Shoes should feel like slippers the moment you put them on; none of this “I’ll break them in” business. A bathing suit should make you do a little dance. If it doesn’t, don’t get it.
My friend and I left the store giddy with excitement, and the next day I wore my new sneakers to work and told everyone about my suit. Who knows? I might even actually go into the pool more than once. And at $130, the bathing suit should get me through another 10 years, at least.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at campbellalexandra@hotmail.com
