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If Barack Obama ends up being hooted out of Washington over his George Carlin-style Cabinet appointments, I have a delicious replacement, 81-year-old Pope Benedict.
The are morphing into the Turkey Twins. While they can lock arms and practice the terpischory of the turkey trot, they have brought eye-rolling back into popularity.
Las Vegas can start booking bets on the Most Abysmal Leader of the Year — and we are only 35 days along.
Barack and Benedict could run as an entry. I predict they will flatten the field. The winner will be awarded the throne in Iran. The runnerup gets to govern Illinois for the next 45 minutes.
Affirmative action obviously is not dead. It is the only way either of the Turkey Twins possibly could have been hired.
Blithely, they give us new punchlines almost every day.
If they get fired, they won’t be unemployed long. In a slick twofer deal, Mad magazine could put Howdy and Doody in charge of interviewing prospective employees.
It Must Be Animal Magnetism
Better lock the gates of the San Diego Zoo, though, before these guys try to hire giraffes, lions and, for those who believe in closing the gap between blacks and whites, panda bears.
Turn on a fan. Blow the stink away.
They have displayed a disturbing penchant for drawing demonstrated liars to their bosom.
Mr. Obama has done it through his repeated selection of unrepentant tax-cheats for his Cabinet.
The Pope’s spectacular moral and ethical lapses are worse for me, as a Jew.
Pope Benedict executed a remarkably audacious calculation the other day.
He invited a rebellious Bishop, an Englishman named Richard Williamson, who proudly, openly denies the Holocaust, to return to the loving arms of the Church.
Forgiving Is Such Sweet Sorrow
The Pope, who declared that Bishop Williamson would be forgiven for revolting against Church traditions, had an ulterior motive. Vatican sources say he reeled in the Bishop out of fear the nut case would start a rival movement.
But, hey, why get all het up?
To cool off some hotheaded Jews who get tend to get piqued when callous popes behave this way, Pope Benedict generously declared his love and affection for the Jewish people.
That pretty much salved my wounds, frivolous as they must have been.
The Pope’s deviousness takes a deeper turn when you recall that as a 14-year-old in Germany in 1941, he joined the Hitler Youth. Claimed he had to, that it was compulsory.
I presume the Nazis had a rule that any little German boy who dreamed of becoming Pope some day had to march with them.
Don’t play Truth or Dare with Mr. Obama or Pope Benedict, dear reader. You will get skunked every time with these moral midgets..
If, just for sport, we turned America’s prisons upside down, the Pope and the President would wrestle each other to see which one could hire more bad guys.
Between Mr. Obama’s unique talent for hiring truth-denying tax-cheats and the Pope’s attraction to Holocaust deniers, they may have to invest in ballet slippers and skulk out of town after dark.
Both embarrassing neophytes are in dire need of job training before their antics cause their formerly respected offices to become irrelevant.
I can find two boys from Culver High before the dinner hour who will give the Pope and the President desperately needed lessons in rudimentary honesty and grammar school-level personnel selection.
In case they are too preoccupied with themselves, as usual, Mr. Obama and Pope Benedict should realize that the people they are sloppily trying to govern are pinching their noses this afternoon, hoping to re-route the skunk odors they have raised in the last several days.
