Home The Recreational Nihilist Frederick Sisa: No Sacred Cows

Frederick Sisa: No Sacred Cows

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    No sooner had the last piece of turkey been digested on Thanksgiving than the silly season was ushered in by the paranoid claims that Christmas was under attack. It¹s almost as much a national ritual as the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Each year, loud voices rail against the Forces of Darkness that march to the sinister rallying cry of "Happy Holidays."
     I never have been able to understand what is so offensive about wishing everyone Happy Holidays in a month when people celebrate a diversity of "holy days." "Happy Holidays" seems like a nice, cheerful way to wish everyone the best for their respective celebrations. It makes sense for businesses and governments to offer all-inclusive wishes because, for different reasons, both want to appeal to a diverse population. And as far as I know, no one is being prevented from celebrating Christmas at home or in church. But whatever it is the loud voices want, they seem to be getting it. The Los Angeles Times reports that many stores are returning to saying "Merry Christmas."

      Of course there is something silly about having all the trappings of a holiday and not calling it by its name. If it¹s a Christmas tree, it¹s a Christmas tree, not a Holiday tree. The problem is that businesses and governments don¹t wish people "Happy Holidays" in a consistent way. If you want to recognize December¹s diversity of holidays, then it makes no sense to focus on the symbols of one holiday in particular or to exclude any one holiday. In other words, if you say Happy Holidays, you should mean Happy Holidays, not Happy Holidays-but-we-really-mean-Christmas. It¹s condescending to pretend to be inclusive by replacing "Christmas" with "Holiday," and insulting to Christians, too.

A Convert Speaks Out

     Into all of this comes a big, bold challenge. "Christian conservatives complain nonstop about the War on Christmas. "But there really isn¹t any such war," said Beyond Belief Media president Brian Flemming, director of The God Who Wasn¹t There. A former fundamentalist Christian, he who now is an atheist activist. "So we have decided to wage a war," he said, "to demonstrate what it would look like if Jesus¹s birthday were truly attacked."
     And how will Flemming wage war on the country¹s premiere holiday? Through "guerilla giveaways" of The God Who Wasn¹t There and with ads in the New York Times, USA Today, and The New Yorker. "Wherever the mythical figure Jesus is celebrated as if he were real," Flemming said, "we will be there with an information barrage. We will undercut the idea that there is any point at all to celebrating the birth of a character in a fairy tale."
     Hoo, boy. Them¹s fightin¹ words. I would be lying if I said I didn¹t get a thrill out of it. After all, everything else is open to criticism. Why should Christmas be any different? If it¹s okay for people to criticize the accepted scientific consensus on global warming, why shouldn¹t it be inregard to a person for whose existence there is scant evidence?
     If we can criticize this or that social policy, why not a national holiday? If we can question the truth about whether a food or drug is safe, whether oil prices are inflated, or whether big companies are being honest with us, why shouldn¹t we be able to question the "truth" of religious beliefs? The religious right constantly points to the (alleged) secularization of society as something to be questioned, even overthrown. So why shouldn¹t we put their claims to the test? And why sugarcoat it? Call Christmas Christmas, a spade a spade, and a myth a myth. Turnabout, after all, is fair play.
On Second Thought

     As much as I agree with Mr. Flemming on theological matters and admire his fearlessness, I have to admit I¹m a little concerned about the overall metaphor of his much-needed boat-shaking. "War on Christmas." "War on  drugs." "War on Terror." "The Culture Wars." It seems there are a lot of wars going on. Of course, Flemming isn¹t the first to use the war metaphor.
     How many times have we heard the "assault on Christmas" spiel? What troubles me is how this reflects a military mindset. That is, a mindset in which relationships between people with different beliefs and viewpoints are defined in terms of opponents who conduct offensives, defend themselves from attack and wield weapons.
     There is a slippery slope in this kind of metaphor. This kind of view leads to an arms race. Christians perceive that Christmas is under attack; they begin using the media to wage a war of words against so-called Christian-bashing secularists. Fed up with being unjustly maligned, folks like Flemming counterattack with a declaration of war. Then what? When words fail to have any persuasive effect, the next step in so emotional and volatile an issue is to use the law. But by now the enemies have become implacable. The military mindset has been firmly set. As both sides struggle for legal supremacy, resentment builds and builds. Then what? Is violence the next step?
     I¹m not predicting a religious civil war. But history does show that when diplomacy and discussion fail, guns get drawn. Already, political rhetoric has become extremely shrill. And it doesn¹t take much effort to find groups of people from all manner of beliefs trying to influence the government to suit their agendas. Here¹s the big question: How can we have peace of mind if we have war, however metaphorical, in our thoughts? How can we treat each other with respect if we see each other as enemies? By all means, let¹s call holidays by their proper names. Let¹s criticize them too, but without militarizing the whole affair.
     Whether you celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, the Solstice or are just happy to get time off from work, I offer you my best wishes in the spirit of something we can all agree to ‹ peace and goodwill. A belated Merry Christmas, a timely Happy Chanukah, Happy Ramadan for next year, Happy Kwanzaa this week. Be well. In brief, Happy Holidays.