As an overweight, shuffling, near octogenarian, Di Feinstein was bogged down in the bathroom at her nursing home on Saturday afternoon while her youthful conqueror, Ted Cruz, was delivering brilliant oratory to normal persons, a national conservative convention in National Harbor, MD.
Sen. Cruz, a very fresh freshman from Texas, took the crotchety Di, girl senator and an unreconstructed liberal from San Francisco, to the cleaners last Thursday afternoon. Sen. Cruz asked the cleaners to clear up the latest spots on her dribble bib.
Ferried by a police escort from the nursing home, Di had staggered into the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing – where she expected to sail, not Cruz, through a hearing on another silly stab at banning weapons, which is what liberals do instead of drinking these days.
Tall, bent and burp-prone, Di had her regurgitated lunch handed back to her at her own hearing to ban certain liberal-disapproved assault weapons.
In their Friday editions, the failing and radically leftist Los Angeles Titanic and The New York Times deliberately abbreviated and misreported the fiery exchanges between the 42-year-old rookie Republican whiz and Di the Deadweight Diva, almost twice his age.
Knowing that liberals are motivated not by what is best for the country but what makes them feel warm all over, Mr. Cruz knew precisely how to trap Grandma Feinstein, like a drowned rat learning to swim..
Since she had sought to amend the 2nd Amendment by banning guns that have been allowed since the Constitution was approved, Mr. Cruz, using his outdoors voice because of her age, asked if she would be equally willing to saw off similar-sized chunks of the 1st and 4th Amendments.
Practically withering before Mr. Cruz’s keen eyes, Di paused. And paused longer before burbling that, by cracky, she had been in politics since before her interrogator had been born. That, said a Cruz aide, was the problem.
Di vamped. She didn’t have an answer, which the Titanic and the Times calculatedly did not report.
She spoke words. She took the traditional liberal duck-out: She mocked while clumsily skirting the answer. None of Di’s drabbery addressed Mr. Cruz’s piercing question.
Say What?
She said she was insulted, which is what liberals say when they can’t think up a clever rejoinder.
When Mr. Cruz regained the microphone, he pressed her for a response before the nursing home pickup truck returned for what is left of her body.
Like a little girl caught with her hand in somebody else’s pocket, Di peered at Mr. Cruz through waves of deep wrinkles.
“No,” she barked, like an ailing bullpup.
As promised, she had the last word. Make that the last two words: “I surrender.”
