I am reminded of the Bond film my wife and I saw last week – “Shaken, not stirred.” Even though Bond did not say those words in the film, he was happy when the bartender shook his drink.
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Since my gallbladder attack on Oct. 1, I have been searching for substitutes for the fried foods I used to love. The baked crunchy fish fillets are no more than one-half as crunchy as the fried ones. The baked “French fries” from the oven do not approximate the crispiness of real French FRIES. And potato chips are on my no-no list of foods a gallbladder-attacked person can have.
When I saw the Extra Crunchy Kettle BAKED potato chips at Ralphs on Christmas Day, I was at least as happy as Bond – maybe even happier! Twenty chips equal ½ gram of fat, and they are “Simply Sliced, Toasted, and Seasoned to Perfection.” One bite of these chips told me that my sardine sandwiches were now saved from being relegated to a once-in-a-while lunch. Now I can eat those sandwiches with gusto since I can bite and crunch 20 chips to my gallbladder’s content.
A 4 oz. bag of either Sea Salt or Sea Salt & Vinegar chips cost $3.69 each. Wait – I’m going to count how many chips there are in one bag – 61 whole chips, 20 half-chips, and 21 less-than-half pieces. That equals about 76 chips. That’s 4.8 cents/chip, or 97 cents for my 20-chip maximum at lunch. Now when I crunch a chip with lunch I will visualize my eating a nickel with each crunchy chip.
By this time, you may be writhing in your chair, thinking about shutting down your computer and getting some almonds to eat. I fully understand. I suppose you have to be ME to appreciate my passion of this week.
My passion of the week often surprises me. There are so many events each week that are meaningful, tender, loving, and otherwise warm and fuzzy. Why the chips then? It’s a real deep-down excitement that I feel when I see something that I want to (“need to”) have loads of right away – even if I logically realize that they will be there the next day, and probably the week after. Maybe, as soon as I realized I wanted all 7 baked Kettle chip bags that were on Ralphs’ shelf the other day, something told me another Passion had arisen from the depths of my being. Also, there’s something comforting to me about seeing six more bags of baked chips in my cabinet. I even take a peek at them once in a while – and smile.
Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com.
