[img]1325|left|Alex Campbell ||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — As a wedding gift, H and I received a City Pass for Chicago, where we honeymooned. I know it meant that we got discounted prices (or in our case, free admission), but what I didn’t realize was that we would get celebrity status as well. For many tourist spots, having a City Pass enables you to skip the long lines inevitable in the summer. I didn’t really understand what that would mean until we went to our first stop.
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We went to the John Hancock Observatory. First we had to stop and pose for a picture, which you could buy later for an outrageous fee. We’ve had these kinds of pictures taken so many times that I like to have a little fun with them. I asked the young woman who was taking the pictures what the background was. She said it was the buildings of Chicago. I posed with my hand out to the side, as if I were holding up the Chicago skyline. I asked the lady if it looked like I was holding up the buildings. “Am I doing it? Is my hand in the right place?” She rolled her eyes, sighed and said that sure, I was holding up the buildings. She placated me as I jumped around like a child.
There was a huge line for the elevator to get up to the top. Next to that line was a big green stripe painted on the floor. As City Pass holders, we were instructed to follow the stripe. It led us all the way to the elevator door, which seemed fantastic, until we looked to our left and saw the regular line, inches away from where we stood. I can’t be exactly sure, but I think we got some dagger stares. It got worse when the elevator arrived and the operator practically put a hand out to stop the “regular” folks, then used his other hand to guide us onto the elevator first. No wonder celebrities all wear dark sunglasses; they don’t want to have to look at the people who are giving them icy stares when they get to cut the line.
We had a great time seeing the city of Chicago from the top of the skyscraper. One fascinating thing to us was that there were lots of spiders hanging out on the outside of the building. How did they get so high, and were their webs made out of superglue or something? They just swayed in the wind.
When it was time to leave, we followed the green stripe again. This time it didn’t make a difference because only three people were waiting for the elevator. They were in the fast lane, too. They were three young women who looked like a cross between sorority girls out for a night on the town, and superheroes. They all had high wedged shoes, and one of them had a dress that I knew she fought crime in. The top looked like black leather. It was a bustier in the front, and it crisscrossed in the back. It was attached to a flowy flowered skirt. I wanted to talk to her about her dress so badly, but she was engrossed in a conversation with her cronies. What were they talking about? The spiders! You have to imagine the voices of Jersey girls/Valley girls using scientific terms while talking about arachnids. “Yeah, they’re…lar…inioides…sclop…etar…ia. They hang out on very high buildings.” “Wow, that is SO interesting.” I weakly muttered that we had been wondering about the spiders, too. I felt like a tourist from geekland with my camping shorts and backpack. Guess I wasn’t going to fight any crimes with the ladies. At least we got to ride the elevator together. Before anyone else.
Ms. Vaillancourt may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com
