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Where’s My Hoodie?

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[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img]While hordes of the hoodie-sporting Easily Bamboozled roam the country like the savage Indians of two and three centuries ago before flying off to the Vatican to get Trayvon canonized, for us grownups, four related pieces of business are on today’s agenda.

All rely on the Easily Bamboozled for sustenance to stay alive.

• Culver City’s intrepid Democrat Assemblyperson, Holly J. Mitchell, opens her re-election campaign on Monday afternoon at a Crenshaw neighborhood watering hole. All incumbents believe they deserve re-election, and typically careless voters agree. Examine the record.

• John Perez (D-Los Angeles), the meritless Speaker of the state Assembly, has introduced a bill the level of 99-Cent stores to, cough, cough, help communities heal from Gov. Flat Tire’s dishonest power-grab of 400 Redevelopment Agencies. The lightweight governor’s steal – justified because he could – was abetted by the obsequious compliance of every Democrat in Sacramento who speaks English.

• Environmentalists, probably the shallowest thinkers in the army of the Easily Bamboozled, have pulled a stickup on the Hermosa Beach City Council. Guess, Murgatroyd, which side girlishly has sung out, “We surrender. We do surrender.” Tonight at 7, the brave Hermosa Councilmen are to vote on whether to ban styrofoam food containers, which the Daily Breeze figures will affect 25 community businesses. Guess which band of bootlickers is favored to win, or lose, depending on perspective.

• Finally, for auld lang syne, comes this beautiful news that keeps the mostly unmarried, uniformly unhappy environmentalists occupied between arising at 10 a.m. and stepping into the arms of Morpheus every evening at 10: Superior Court Judge Jimmy Chalfant has – thank, Swish, as we say at prayer time – upheld a Los Angeles County ordinance forbidding stores in unincorporated areas to hand out plastic bags while charging hapless customers 10 cents per paper bag.

Largely long-term unemployed and not paying income taxes, family-less environmentalists believe we are here to serve Mama Earth.

Even though I have spent a year or two between and among marriages, I never have been so dejected, so alone, so unserious, so angry that I wanted to become an environmentalist. If the Easily Bamboozled environmentalists would edge away from their self-consumption and find a mate, they would not feel compelled to climb into their 1967 Beetles every night and peddle to the beach to count the imaginary sullied plastic bags that are killing imaginary fish.

Our Assemblyperson

Ms. Mitchell is one of the nicest ladies I have met lately. Like all Democrats, though, the Easily Bamboozled form her mainspring of support. It shows in the entirely leftist trajectory that Ms. Mitchell follows in the Assembly.

It has been about 75 days since we have spoken, before the governor’s shameful takedown of the agencies. Ms.Mitchell was going to smooth a path for Culver City and other stricken communities to recover.

The agencies are dead, and I am not aware of any meaningful action Ms. Mitchell has taken.

Next case.

Her pal Mr. Perez, like many soldiers in the Easily Bamboozled army, is a joke as a legislator. The centerpiece of his bill, AB 1585, which (lol) passed 56 to 7, appears to be grabbing $1.4 billion back from the governor’s clutches to spend on “affordable housing,” not why agencies were in business.

Daily, I am amazed by how many serious leftists are taken in by the clownish empty-life environmentalists. If you had told a dim man 30 years ago plastic bags and styrofoam boxes were going to be outlawed, he would have laughed you out of your space. Even today, a dim man would. At least he is not a fool, not easily bamboozled.