When You Rig the Outcome, You Don’t Have to Say You’re Sorry

Ari L. NoonanSports

On the day before a mature man’s 35th birthday — or the anniversary thereof — even a Sensible Person can morph into curmudgeon with just a cursory glance at the daily newspapers.

Turning the keyboard at all but two or three newspapers in America over to Liberals Without Borders is like putting your pre-schooler behind the wheel of the family car on a hairpin curve.

Send Out Sherlock: We Are Looking for a Cup of Candor

Ari L. NoonanSports

What troubles me most about the new and quite a bit smaller Culver City Summer Music Festival, that starts Thursday night at 7 at City Hall, is the absence of candor of the several City Hall people staging the series.

They have wandered all over Culver Boulevard dropping prosaic excuses for shrinking the series from 13 concerts to eight, tweaking the individual programs and humiliating the promoter.

Why You Should be Glad, on the Fourth of July, That You Live in Culver City

Ari L. NoonanSports

Throughout the recent terminal illness and temporary expiration of the South Sepulveda Boulevard redevelopment, members of John Wacker’s citizen-based Culver Alliance said they love Culver City the way it is. Leave it alone, especially their neighborhood.

Just so you don’t think they were blowing smoke from funny cigarettes, on the Fourth of July you should consider the following areas of civic superiority:

The Mayor of Culver City, unlike the Mayor of Los Angeles, lives like a veritable monk. Not that the nearest Trappist Monastery is recruiting the Mayor of Culver City who is known for his loquacity. The Catholic order of monks is known for forbidding all talk.

Champion’s Single Goal: Finish First, Not Second

Ari L. NoonanSports

Uncharitably, my first impulse yesterday after hearing of the misfortune of the developer Bob Champion was to recall the classic line from motion picture history uttered about 75 years ago by Oliver Hardy to his pal Stan Laurel:

“Well, Stanley, another fine mess you have gotten us into.”

When the eager young automobile entrepreneur Hooman Nissani beat out Mr. Champion for a contested piece of property Mr. Champion was trying to buy and redevelop for the South Sepulveda project, wasn’t this one more sign from the gods?

Colorful Language in Wednesday’s Racial Race

Ari L. NoonanSports

In this election week, we are reminded again it is good that politicians hardly ever are held accountable.

Otherwise, this afternoon, a brawny weightlifter from Gold’s Gym would have to stand on the curb and shove two greedy ladies, Laura Richardson and Jenny Oropeza, into oncoming traffic.

A Curious Culver City Artist to Whom Very Little Things Mean a Lot

Ari L. NoonanSports

Since we met last year, I have been drawn to the artistry of Culver City-born Stacie B London.

What makes this notable is that Ms. London specializes in esoteria.

The fineness Ms. London devotes to amoeba-sized details in each undertaking is extraordinary, and it merits your attention.

She is opening a new exhibit on Saturday night from 6 to 10 at her second-story gallery in Silver Lake — that is Hollywood to you and me — at 3740 Sunset Blvd. (323.668.0734.)

The Sad Day That Thousands of Books Died — on the Library’s Doorsteps

Ari L. NoonanSports

The saddest sight of the week in Culver City:

Thousands of unclaimed, technically unwanted — but by no means undesired — books lying about the rear property of the Julian Dixon Library.

Soon they would be on their way to, as Jay Handal would say, Book Hell.

The story goes that the thousands of books unknowingly condemned to their death beds had been “returned” to the library late last week, a couple of years after having been acquired by a film studio from the Friends of the Library for movie set purposes.

Don’t Think of Bad Guys as Evil — Just, um, Different

Ari L. NoonanSports

Perhaps you heard this morning’s news from Afghanistan.

Virulently anti-war National Public Radio reported the story of seven Muslim students being purposely sealed inside a madrassah. They were fiendishly set up as U.S. bombing target, a tragedy that played out shortly afterward.

Converting vulnerable children into juicy targets for even juicier propaganda purposes is a staple of the cowardly modern warfare practiced by Muslim terrorists.

How Should School Board Respond to No-Win Dilemma?

Ari L. NoonanSports

Tuesday night’s School Board meeting yielded more civility than anticipated, perhaps because both sides in the Kill the Kindergarten dispute were fully candid with each other.

Of course, it is easy for you to believe all of the parents from El Marino Language School were controlled and honest in their assertions.

Moon Over Culver City — It Shines on Thee

Ari L. NoonanSports

At 11:30 last night, I left the School Board meeting at Lin Howe School and walked straight into what felt like a Disney movie set.

Stepping swiftly but congenially past the Principal Rosie LaBriola who was smiling as she stood in the foyer, I slanted into the charmingly lighted late-night darkness.