[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak|remove link|no_popup[/img]A new client called to set an appointment for losing weight. Ten years ago he had been hypnotized to quit smoking, to end a four-pack-a-day habit. That hypnosis, in his native New York, had worked so well that he had not smoked since the first session.
Now he needed a new hypnotist.
By his description, I expected to see a man grossly overweight, possibly on the verge of diabetes.
However, the client who came to my door was 6-foot-5, a blond David Hasselhoff. I could not see that he was overweight, but he insisted that he was 20 pounds too heavy, and he wanted to lose the “excess.”
I said the Dr. Laura Schlessinger diet was the most effective way to shed weight:
Work out twice as much, eat half as much.
That is what he had been doing. He worked out two hours every day at the gym and was involved in other physical activities.
What He Is Like
Outgoing, involved with assorted groups and people, he enjoyed life through feeling and experiencing with his body — as opposed to those who experience life mentally.
Retired, he had ample time to exercise, but he acknowledged another little problem: He drank a bottle of wine every night, usually by himself.
That, he felt, was why he was putting on weight. Drinking with others is one thing. Drinking to excess with others may be rationalized as being carried away by circumstances. Drinking to excess alone every night, though, he concluded, is full blown alcoholism, the root of his problem
Smoking four packs a day and overcoming that habit had been replaced by his overdrinking, showing he had an addictive personality. He readily agreed.
This was further confirmed when he told me he used to be a workaholic. Owning a successful hairdressing business, he had been the personal hairdresser to famous personalities, including politically prominent figures where he had to be constantly up and always available. He saw his clients whenever they needed him, meaning long hours. Somewhere, he lost his identity. His career left no room for a personal life or to come to grips with who and what he was. Consequently having no work left him alone and empty.
Why No Special Partner?
Yes, he was active and met people daily, but he had no “special” relationship. Outgoing as he is, at 60-plus he was about dying old and by himself. That was another reason he drank.
As a “physical sexual,” he enjoys being around other people. He likes to be the center of attention and always dresses in the height of fashion. He is loud to ensure that no one misses him and that everyone is involved with what he is doing.
Now imagine being home alone every evening. It would be torture. He is happiest helping others.
His relationships often ended within three or four months. He attracted quieter people, which was fine for a while. Soon they became tired of constantly being out and about with him. They would push him for time alone.
Arguments would star. He would push harder for attention because he took their desire for alone time as a slight. When he pushed, he seemed as if he were whining, and soon the latest went away, unable to take his constant demands for attention.
This is typical. It is the unique oppositeness of each person in a relationship that causes the initial attraction. Unfortunately, those qualities later can lead to annoyance and frustration.
Once he understood his extremes of behavior and how he could tone them down, his relationships with others improved. Although his dominant personality was that of an outgoing person, he was enough of a sub- dominant personality to understand he enjoyed being quieter and alone.
He began to discover he could enjoy being alone without drinking. Reading a book or other solitary activities grew in their appeal. Once he began to understand himself and his behaviors, how they affected himself and others, the excess weight went away.
If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net