Re “Culver City, the Odd 1 Percent Community for Health Benefits”
Re “Mr. Malsin: Oh, No, Not Again. Oh, No, Not Again. Oh…”
The nicest part about haranguing the unwashed is that you need not miss the whole next episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants to write your speech. How long can it take to memorize one slim concept that you repeat 64 times — or until the unlucky peasants run for the ocean, screaming for relief?
Like all good demagogues lecturing their robotic followers, you merely repeat your previous charges by stomping both feet simultaneously.
While dancing in mid-air.
That’ll sway the thin-minded.
For the third consecutive Thursday, Our Papa, City Councilman Scott Malsin, today has assembled us wretches — the blind, deaf and darned near illiterate community of Culver City — at his feet to mellifluously beguile us with a punch to our unworthy, lowdown noses.
More, Daddy, more. Pain feels sooooo good.
Besides, we have soooo much to learn from you, the lone wise man in our starving midst.
Never have so many learned so little — zero minus one — from so darned many words, almost 2100 mostly wasted, tediously repeated words curled into clichéd phrases and concepts that Mr. Malsin could have conveyed in 10 easy letters
S-a-v-e
m-y
s-k-i-n.
The purpose of the three Thursdays of nearly identical Papa Knows Best essays on healthcare benefits reform is to save Mr. Malsin’s job, to keep him in office until the end of his term-limited tenure next spring.
Will he leave by Dec. 31, as some city workers will?
Mr. Malsin is maximally milking this angle, coquettishly fending off a yes or no response.
Amidst the blizzard of baloney spewed across Culver City neighborhoods three weeks running, Mr. Malsin, a truly good civil servant most of the time, adroitly swerved wide of the truth in dishonestly trying to convince readers that his single concern is the welfare of scores of city workers.
Well, yes, my skin is in the game. But enough about me. Let’s talk about you, my friend. What do you think about my multiple gleaming talents?
True, as Debbie Hamme pointed out the other day, during his first spanking to us lucky peasants, he quietly tucked in a phrase so obtuse I missed it. He admitted softly that he and his family also are affected by the widely agreed upon changes in benefits.
This excuse-me concession was the equivalent of being handed one grain of rice at a wedding to throw at the bride.
It was not intended to be noticed.
One of Mr. Malsin’s favorite touches at Council meetings and elsewhere is to tell us how much he has done for the community.
His mama did not raise a bashful boy.
Parents of the other four Councilmen must have.