Old? Not me. They say, “You’re as old as you feel.” Uh-oh.

I think I want to finish this essay quickly. I don’t want to dwell on my advancing age any more than I have to.

Here are 5 signs — they just came to mind — that show me I am not getting younger.

Age spots

When I look in the mirror, or at my hands, feet, or almost any part of my body, I see spots, smudges, redness, whiteness, and — my goodness — wrinkles.

Pain

The number of new pains per month seems to be growing. Ouch — my toe, ouch — my shoulder, ouch — my ankle.

Slowness/weakness of movement

When I went into the ocean today and tried to body surf, it was a “wipe out!” After about two minutes I decided I wasn’t strong enough to pick myself up rapidly enough from being knocked down by waves.

Memory loss

If I didn’t have the above sentences in front of me, I would likely have little idea of what I just wrote. Paper and pencil notes, and calling home to leave “reminder messages,” are all the more common these days.

Medical changes

More acid indigestion and more visits to the doctor. Thank goodness the old ticker still works.

Old? I still refuse to answer that question in the affirmative. Older? Maybe.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com