I recently gave a lecture at a YMCA (now known as The Y). As far as I could tell, it was well received. Everyone had a good time. The Y staff sent out a questionnaire to the participants and for their feedback.

Only 8 people responded, all saying they had enjoyed the lecture. They felt they had a better understanding of hypnosis and how to use it to create the positive changes that had eluded them to date.

One person sent back a negative comment, calling me extremely arrogant in my presentation. Luckily, my wife had video taped the presentation. Neither she nor I could see where there was arrogance. Perhaps the confident way I spoke rubbed this individual the wrong way.

I cannot please everyone at every lecture but I always go out of my way to ensure that the audience is involved. I leave plenty of time for questions. I believe this individual has confused arrogance with confidence. Maybe my critic is arrogant and sees his own behaviors in others, refusing to accept the negative behaviors that are his own.

Mirroring is not a new concept.

But unless we experience an emotion or behavior we would not and could not see it in others because we have no knowledge of what that behavior really is.

For example, if you never have experienced any kind of love, how could you see it in anyone else? The same can be said for hate, jealousy, envy.

Therapists often use mirroring to have a client feel comfortable. By mirroring, the client begins to feel that the therapist has similar mannerisms and consequently feel more comfortable.

Time to Define

Arrogance: An offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.

Confidence: Full trust; belief in the powers trustworthiness or reliability of a person or thing; A belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.

I always try to impart what I know about hypnotherapy in a fun way by using examples from life and showing how hypnosis is able to make a difference in the life situations discussed. Of course I also want to explain what suggestibility is, what sexuality is and how the theory of the mind works. All of these are important for anyone interested in hypnosis to know.

It is these three things and the client’s understanding of himself that will ultimately help any one to be a better person.

The Outline Is Set

My therapies usually consist of no more than 6 sessions maximum. Suggestibility, sexuality and the theory of the mind are all covered in the first three sessions as well as of course making a dent in the client’s presenting issue.

The last three sessions are spent fine tuning the suggestions for the client and teaching him or her how to do for himself/herself what I have been doing for the person. For any client to use hypnosis, he must understand how it works, what his behaviors are, how to phrase self-suggestion most effectively and to understand the power of his subconscious and how to tap into it.

I have been doing this for over 20 years, and my therapies have been very effective.

There is also an element of humility in what I do. I have said in other articles how important humility is. Most successful people have a strong element of humility. It compels others to want to help them to attain their goals.

I have also found that the most humble started with poor beginnings, creating success through their hard work and desire to do for others. They know what it is like to have nothing. I am no different.

I have traveled the world, worked successfully in varied careers ranging from store sales to farming on a kibbutz, to service, marketing and television production.  I have gained tremendous life experience, which has been helpful to my clients.  I can often identify with their issues.

If having this life experience and knowledge is arrogance, so be it. If this enables me to be of assistance to others to gain the changes that they want, so be it also.

Is what I have said arrogant or confident?  You decide.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net