You learn about the sternocleidomastoideus (SCM) muscle in graduate school. But you never think you will visit that word again.

It was a double whammy that likely brought on waves of on and off pain in my neck area. More specifically, in the roughly triangular muscle area connecting the base of my skull (mastoid) to my collarbone (clavicle) to my breastbone (sternum).

The double whammy occurred at the end of a lovely vacation to the Canadian Rockies. First came a cold. Then the hard airport seats at our connecting flight airport.

Let’s talk about those seats.

If only airports had recliners for those weary travelers whose flights have been cancelled and delayed for hours on end. They don’t. They have chairs with hard, low backs. Chairs which, when you are so tired that you scoot down to try to sleep on them, catch you on the back of the neck. You don’t hate those chairs so much at the airport because you DO get to nod off on them. The next day, ZOWIE! Your neck (the SCM part) is throbbing.

You go to Kaiser. The doctor gives you the lowdown for the SCM diagnosis: Stretch the muscles, apply heat and take 600mg of Motrin – with food.

You Google about 12 SCM stretching exercises. You stop at Rite-Aid to buy two types of heating pads: (1) a bead-filled neck-and-shoulder device that keeps its warmth after two minutes in the microwave, and (2) a regular electrical heating pad. Carefully, you eat a banana and some peanut butter as you down the super Motrin.

With each passing day the pain is a bit less intense, a bit less frequent. Thank God.

You find yourself writing a new commitment in LARGE letters on the computer, and pasting it on the cabinet:

NO MORE CONNECTING FLIGHTS FOR ME — ONLY DIRECT FLIGHTS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH MORE MONEY THEY COST.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com