I’m normally rather loathe to comment on local politics. But this heated debate about parking on one block of Farragut Drive has got me in a kerfuffle. Watching Les Greenberg and Ken Smith spar is like watching football teams argue a game-winning goal by appealing to the quality of their respective corporate sponsors. (See? See how upset I am? I’m resorting to sports analogies! Sports analogies! Me!)

The madness must stop.

So for today, think of me as Solomon, ready to dispense wisdom and justice to settle differences between two implacable combatants.

On the one side, we have Grace Lutheran Church and their desire for more parking.

On the other, we have Farragut residents with their legally-approved parking privileges.

To settle the dispute, I propose the following:

Let’s turn Farragut into a pedestrian-only zone, with a path for cyclists.

Nobody gets to park their cars, but we get clear winners from the solution.

Children will have a safe place to play outside, whether running around, testing out their training wheels, or tossing the ol’ ball around with a parent. A few dog parks here and there would provide our canine friends with a place to run and poop …well away from the sidewalks. And as a cat person, it warms my heart to think that our feline friends will be able to prowl their territories without fear of flattening by passing vehicles.

Of course, a pedestrian zone would have benefits for the environment, since it would encourage walking, cycling and scootering…not to forget jogging, skipping and cartwheeling.

The proof that this is a successful compromise is, of course, that no one would be happy with it. Except for kids, puppies and kitties, who really deserve to come out on top once in a while.

You’re welcome.

I’m off to the U.N. now.

Frédérik Sisa is the Page's assistant editor and resident art critic. He can be reached via eMail at fsisa@thefrontpageonline.com, and invites you to connect with him via social media:

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