Duh No. 58:  Hot Chickens

For years, it has taken nearly six hours to smoke four chickens. As I was putting  the cover onto the smoker this morning, I noticed something I had seen before — a gap on one side between the cover and the body of the smoker.  With my rubber mallet, I tapped the side of the smoker. The gap was gone. After 3½ hours, I heard the alarm on the thermostat. 

I wondered why it was beeping so early. Duh.  Without a gap in the smoker cover, the chickens heated up much faster. I couldn't believe it when I took out the chickens. They were done.

Duh No. 59:  Water Overflow

I suppose it is another sign of growing older.  Recently, I have forgotten to take the hose out of the pool as it is replacing lost water.  Each time, the ground has been flooded.

Amazon Prime to the rescue. Duh. In two days I had hooked up a $12 water detector.  Carving a small hole near the top of the pool lining, I inserted a small tube and placed a pan with the detector's electrodes under the tube. Now I can turn on the hose, relax, and wait for the alarm to go off.

Duh No. 60:  Loose Shorts

To tighten a favorite pair of old shorts, I have resorted to sewing them, pinning them, even gluing. To no avail. This week a light bulb flashed. Duh.

I poked two holes in the waistband, inserted a short zip tie and pulled. My shorts fit wonderfully.

Duh No. 61:  Cabinet Doors

Years ago the hardware that keeps our bedroom cabinet doors shut had broken. For all those years I had looked at those slightly ajar doors with disgust. Last week while walking through Ikea, I saw perfectly closed cabinet doors. I decided to look inside. Duh. I bought 16 simple mechanisms to use on my own cabinets. The doors now stay peacefully shut.

Duh No. 62:  Add-Ons

I noticed that quite a few very inexpensive items on Amazon Prime were labeled “Add-Ons.”  I wondered what that meant. Duh.  I have just learned that any time I spend more than $25 on Amazon Prime, I can add on Add-Ons and get the same two-day, free delivery.  I ordered a nice yardstick. Now I am searching the Add-Ons for items to add to my Amazon Wishlist. Fun.

Duh No. 63:  Pillow Found

After exchanging, and then returning, expensive pillows to Macy's this week, I once again decided to try out each of my 18 pillows. Duh. A pillow from Costco, which I had rejected for being too firm, turned out to be fine. In comparison to the extremely firm Macy's pillow, the Costco pillow was firm, yet soft enough to cuddle with.

Sweet dreams.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com