How often has somebody said something to you that rubs you the wrong way?

What have you done about it?

I’ll tell you what my wife and I do about it. And it works for us. Maybe it can work for you, too.

Here is a scenario:

Wife: “How about we work on the house today?”

Husband: [Thinking: “Oh, my gosh. And I wanted to do so many things at the computer today. This is one of my only days to get things done.”] “Hey, honey, can you sit down here next to me and say it again?”

Wife: “Hey, honey. I know it’s your day to get things done on the computer. But I was wondering if we could get the bottles on the table and perhaps finish our blog?”

Wow. The wife just made the husband feel like a million bucks. And what did it take?

Some re-wording. The wife first acknowledged the husband’s need or desire. Then she specifically mentioned a couple of tasks that were important to her.

Now the husband, in appreciation of his wife’s acknowledgment, desires to please her. Here is his response:

Husband: “Hey, honey. Thanks for acknowledging me, and my needs and desires. I would be more than happy to start off my day putting the bottles on the table, and finishing our blog. I love you.”

Okay, you guys. And that includes me.

Let’s paste this essay on our cabinet.

We can refer to it whenever we feel like asking our mate to help us with something.

What is the key?

To make it clear between husband and wife, or any two people, that in any communication situation where either partner is uncomfortable, say the following:

“Hey, honey. Can you sit down here next to me and say it again?”

That one sentence – those few words — not only can save relationships, but also catapult them to new, higher levels.

Ready to try it?

Write down that “Hey, honey” sentence on a piece of paper. Post it someplace — or places — where it will serve as a reminder to all of your family.

I like to call it our Magic Sentence.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertzebsen@gmail.com