Like Andy Cooper, the co-madam of the journalistic whorehouse that is CNN, USA Today is a reliably dishonest outlet.

Like CNN, they do not report news that happens. They specialize in news the way they believe it should have happened, given their propensity for proudly smearing all that is non-left.

They remind me of a left-wing pianist. He only will strike certain keys and call the discordant sounds by the name of a favorite tune.

Race-crazed, far left USA Today once again spat in the eye of naïve readers this week.

With a huge slant, they reported results of a nationwide survey on tipping habits, ahem, ignoring data that would anger leftists, choosing data that would prompt a rare leftist smile.

Choking as it went, USA Today was quick enough to identify men and Republicans as the best tippers in America.

No one should be surprised. For years, surveys have shown conservatives are the most contented and heavily more generous than those who believe otherwise.

Trying to phonily look more like journalists than whores, the USA Today immediately cited the worst tippers.

Well, not exactly.

Some of the worst tippers – Democrats and Southerners.

Employing the finesse of a one-legged elephant inside a dirty bushel basket, USA Today sneered and walked away from the group judged worst at tipping, black women.

Can’t offend them or Maxine Waters will break down your door at midnight – and then order her chauffeur to return her to her $4.3 million, 6,000-square foot mansion, which she paid for by saving chewing gum wrappers.

Since that statistic would send lefties into another sputtering tailspin, USA Today had to mollify its base.

Ah, here is a big red rose for the victim-centric leftists:

“90 percent of women who rely on tips have experienced sexual harassment.”

Libs swallowed whole.

It was a close editorial staff vote, though, on whether to claim 90 percent or 101 percent.