Two liberal Stanford researchers, driving from Palo Alto to Oakland, stopped for a red light.

Each licked the tip of the fingernail on the index finger of the driver’s left hand, the passenger’s right hand.

Each social/sociable scientist extended the appropriate digit out the window, piercing a driving rain.

Fifteen seconds later, each yanked his drippy digit back inside.

With dubiously durable drollness unmatched by Kathy Griffin, Bill Maher and Father Coughlin, the detail-oriented researchers jointly and jubilantly reached the identical science-based conclusion:

“Oakland police officers tend to treat black citizens with less respect than white citizens.”

Their methodology may have been as cloudy as it was convoluted. But by thunder, the boys have attained their goal:
“Proving” Oakland cops of all colors mistreat all Oaklanders of one color, black.

Let me be irrevocably clear:

Oakland is one of the two or three most undesired and undesirable communities in America. Logic suggests undesirable people reside there. Does anyone go to Oakland knowingly?

The Los Angeles (“We Don’t Need No Proof”) Times, scotched the doubts of skilled scientists about the dubious research.

The Times says liberals believe that if 50 blacks and 50 whites are placed in identical perilous situations, they will respond the same way because there are 50 of each kind.

That kind of fairy tale nonsense only is believed by liberals and Mary, part-owner of a diminutive lamb.

Typically for a left-wing business living on emotional fossil fuel, the Times ran with the Nothingburger story yesterday for one reason:

Liberals have been ordered to  believe and regurgitate that America is biased against blacks – when they themselves are the cause of the sprinkles of bias.

The “proof,” you will excuse the author’s enviable wit, was as trumped up as liberals’ charges against President Trump and anyone who ever walked past him.

The “proof” is a joke

How the boys “proved” it is an inexplicable mystery between them and their God.

Here are the numbers the Times says supports the researchers’ “findings”:

The boys started with traffic stops, 682 involving black drivers, 299 white drivers based on 183 hours of footage from officers’ body cameras.

From 36,738 comments, they, uh, chose 414. The Times says the, uh, researchers paired each of the 414 with the immediately preceding one by the driver.

You betcha, Tonto.

Here is my favorite portion, the clinching part, of the Bugs Bunny Research Project:

The 414 officer comments and the supposedly triggering 414 driver comments were handed to 70, uh, volunteers – volunteers? Really? – from who knows where?

Strikes me as irrefutably reliable. You, too?

Seventy chaps with prejudices and no training. Where did those climate change deniers go? They left too soon.

So many people sifted through abstract “evidence” that most liberals, not known for their cerebral prowess, could not swallow the filmy, muddy stuff with a straight throat.