Haven’t you dreamed of lying on a hammock with your shoes off, and a drink nearby?

Well, my hammock dream has come true.

The Sunnydaze hammock from Amazon ($110) set up so easily I couldn’t believe it.

No tools necessary, it said.

Right.

The hammock frame snapped together in 5 minutes. Time to hang the hammock on the frame: 1 minute.

I chucked the small pillow that came with the hammock and added my own comfy pillow.

I tossed off my shoes and laid down on heaven’s swing.

My mosquito netting arrived from Amazon ($20) the next day.

The 10’x20’ netting fit nicely over the hammock.

But how was I going to lift the netting off my face?

Looking around at my spare PVC pool pipes, I spied a two-foot pipe with a 45-degree adapter attached.

After I wrapped a few turns of Gorilla tape around one end of the hammock’s frame, the pipe-and-adapter combo held the netting high enough in the air to keep the netting off my face, and the rest of my body.

I knew I needed to zip-tie the netting at each end of the hammock when I had some unwelcome visitors.

Yes, a hornet on one day, and a mosquito the next morning.

Once the zip tying was done, I felt I was home free.

I need to move the hammock off the lawn twice a week — once, for the gardeners to mow the lawn, and before Mondays’ and Thursdays’ watering.

I will try moving the hammock to the far side of the patio so that will not impact the lawn.

Just when will I lie on the hammock?

Probably in the morning or late afternoon when the sun is not very hot.

I wonder if I will eventually get a garden umbrella to give me shade?

I haven’t yet fallen asleep in the hammock, but I look forward to that experience.

What if I spy more evil insects within the netting?

Will I give up?

No. I will try to find a way to ensure the adequate closure of the entire hammock.

If that fails, I can always spray myself with Off.

I can try placing the bug zapper machine near the hammock and hope all the little creatures are drawn to it.

It’s an adventure to be sure.

So are all of my hobbies.  It seems as though I enjoy tweaking my hobbies to get the very best enjoyment possible from them.

Hey, I just had an idea.

I can take the hammock inside the house.  I think I’ll set a stopwatch and track the time it takes to dismantle and assemble the entire hammock.

At least I won’t need the mosquito netting inside!  Hmm.

Now I need to think of a way to convince my wife to let me try the indoor hammock experience.

Any ideas out there?

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertzebsen@gmail.com