I got these new Nike sneakers. They felt very comfortable. Only problem was, the laces came untied very easily. Terrible.

I decided the problem was that the laces were flat. Round laces might not come undone so easily.

Time to head to Target for round laces.  I happily removed my flat laces, laid one out on the bed, and measured it.

At Target, I was determined to take my time and peruse the entire stock of shoelaces. I wanted white round laces between 40 and 45 inches long. I must have scanned the entire selection of laces twice. The only 45-inch white round laces were “reflective” laces that had specks of black in them.  I picked up those laces, and decided, “I’ll settle for the reflective laces. But I want to at least scan the collection of laces one more time.”

My eyes caught the strangest sight. Were they really laces? They looked more like pig tails. I don’t mean little girls’ pigtails. I mean little pig’s pig tails.  I had to have a closer look.

“What?” I thought. It said no tie, one-size laces. What the heck does that mean?

How could two pieces of twisted cord four inches long tie my shoes?  I had to buy them … If only to laugh at the idea.

Sitting on my bed, I excitedly opened my pig tail laces. Pulling them on, I was amazed to see them stretch, probably quadrupling in size. Then, with my legs straddling one shoe, and my new spiral lace in hand, I began the arduous task of alternately stretching and pulling the lace through the eyelets of my sneakers.  I timed it. It took 17 minutes to lace both sneakers. I thought, “Why am I doing this anyway?”

I am so glad I made the effort because these twisted laces are the greatest!

My sneakers no longer become untied. I mean never. Where were you all my life, you beautiful little twists?

The moral: When you are not truly satisfied with what you find, give the collection that extra scan. Definitely pick up anything that looks weird.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com