Robert Ebsen

Loosen it. Tighten it. Loosen it, and tighten it.  What a hassle it was.  Although it wasn’t embarrassing to me, it certainly was to my wife.

In an essay from 4½ years ago, I prophetically said:

“I wish all my pants fit just tight enough so as to not require a belt at all.  That way I wouldn’t have to punch extra holes in my belts to make the belts fit just right.”

Fast forward to two years ago. I ordered my first of several black braided elastic stretch belts from Amazon. That meant that there were no belt holes to search for.

All I needed to do was to pull the belt tighter or loosen it. Even with my eyes closed, the prong easily would fit into the braided belt.

But I still had to deal with the tightening and loosening. The act of sitting down meant that I could feel the belt buckle poking at my tummy.  Not comfortable.

Three days ago I finally made the decision that, at 75, I deserve to be more comfortable.  That meant no more belts.  That meant elastic waistband pants.  I ordered two pair right then and there.

Thanks to Amazon Prime Next Day Delivery, I was wearing a pair the next afternoon.

For my wife’s comfort, and that of my own, I wear my shirts out.  She can’t complain about seeing that elastic waistband.  I think the pants look as comfortable as they feel.  I am literally breathing sighs of relief all day long.

How proud am I of my new beltless attire?  I find myself occasionally pulling up my shirt to display my elastic waistband as I explain the benefits of this modern apparel to onlookers.

I suppose I am lucky that I remain slim easily.  If I were prone to gaining weight, I imagine that my tummy would grow with impunity, as my expanding waistband would fail to be monitored by the amount of loosening of a belt.

Will you wait to turn 75 to make yourself more comfortable?  I say do it now.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com