My new friend is my new pool heater.

When turned on, it rumbles.  The rumbling, which I can hear in my bedroom with the window closed, is such a comforting sound.

Somewhat akin, I imagine, to the sound a fetus hears in utero.  It makes me feel warm and cozy.

It lets me know everything will be alright. Everything will be okay because the heater works not only consistently, but also very well.

It heats up my water not 2° an hour, as the old heater did, but 4 1/2° an hour. That means, if I lose 9° of temperature overnight, I can swim just two hours after firing up the heater.

Why is my heater such a good friend? I suppose it’s because he won’t leave me in a lurch.

After all, if he fails me, there’s no way to swim in cold water.

Swimming is what keeps me going. It’s my rejuvenation.  Not only does it keep my joints moving, but also it gives me fun exercise almost every day of the year.

When the time comes that my hot new friend ages, and loses his firepower, I will stick by him.

I will hire a pool doctor to pay him a visit and fix his innards.

So, you ask, can inanimate objects really be friends in the same way that people are?  My answer is the proof is in the pudding.

If my heater makes me happy, if I can rely on it, if I can take care of it, and it takes care of me, then yes, it is a true friend.

I can hear some of you saying, “This guy is nuts. Who can believe that an object could be like a person?”

Someday people will make objects even more human-like.

They will be able to make decisions and react in a variety of ways. These robots will be able to assist us more than ever before.  And, I believe, people will care for these robot devices with affection. They will become true friends.

I may be just a bit ahead of my time in believing that my heater is a true friend.

BTW, I also hug trees.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com