[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img]Them there bean-counting, race-baiting, red-necked, sexually meandering yokels at the A & E network sank sobbingly to their nosey knees this afternoon. With their beady eyes memorizing the number of slates in the floor, they welcomed the brilliant Phil Robertson – their, ahem, meal ticket – back onto their team.

What suspension? High on drugs, booze or both, A & E, flexing its femme fatale muscles, said they were placing Mr. Robertson on “indefinite hiatus.” The Bearded Wonder not only enjoyed the last laugh, he authored the only laugh.

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With normal Americans, protesting vociferously for a change, pounding on their door, A & E checked its account at the First National Bank of Kabul. They handed their Board of Directors autographed daguerreotypes of Gen. G. Custer with three arrows in his heart, and retired to the restroom.

Mr. Robertson did not miss a day of work and A & E will not miss a single paycheck or fifth-season episode of the wildly popular Robertson program that has been renamed. Now it will be known as “Goose Dynasty” in honor of what happened to A & E.

Now angry liberals (I repeat myself) are forced to round their shoulders and return to their lonely, dark little worlds, all the while pondering how once again they blew an attempt to embarrass normal Americans.

Crying “we surrender, we surrender,” A & E’s sneakers-and-jeans-wearing girly boys and manly girls were billyclubbed into changing their inch-wide minds when normal Americans rose up in a massive multi-layered campaign of protest at the prospect of a penalty against the truth-telling Mr. Robertson.

That is egg on their faces, and I will have mine sunny side up, please.

If there is anything liberals hate more than normal people, it is losing money. They were about to lose a drag queen’s ransom if they had continued to punish the 100 percent innocent Mr. Robertson.

The American people loudly rendered the cinch verdict after reading that Mr. Robertson was being penalized for quoting the New Testament on homosexuality.

The girly boys and manly ladies of the left would rather kiss President Reagan’s grave than admit a second opinion exists on homosexuality.

Liberals never acknowledge they are wrong, as they almost always are when bombastic sex and hate-fueled left-wing racism are involved in their sad little universe.

Happily, this afternoon they have no choice.