In My Third Year, Everything Is ‘Kol Beseder’

ShacharOP-ED

Dateline Jerusalem — American words are very much a part of Israeli society. They are often names of popular businesses or they are adopted into the modern Hebrew language and slang of the country.

For example, “yes” is “ken” in Hebrew, not Barbie doll's boyfriend, but the name of a television company.

“Orange,” the color “katom” and the fruit “tapuz” in Hebrew, is the name of a cell phone company.

“Hot” is “cham” in Hebrew, but is also the name of a cable company that provides TV, Internet and telephone service and tries to project the image of being sexy (oh, those commercials!) and popular, in other words, “hot.”

Other than “Hot,” I see absolutely no connection between the company and the name.

However, considering I do not understand Hebrew, perhaps the letters stand for Hebrew words and I just don't know any better.

And of course, who can forget that a “canyon” is not a deep valley or gorge, but an indoor mall. But my favorite word of all is “friar,” which is not a monk, but a “sucker” or fool. I have been called that many times in the last 2 1/2 years that I have lived in Israel!

Bet, vet, hey, nun, shin and sin” are not words adopted from our language, but letters in the Hebrew alphabet.

They are not modern Hebrew, but actually biblical Hebrew. And how confusing is this? “Hu” means “he” and “he” means “she.” Or, “shalom” means “hello” and “goodbye” as well as “peace.”

I have been able to get by without speaking Hebrew because “pizza” is pizza, a “hamburger” is a hamburger, a “cafe” is a cafe.

The only problem I have with those words is the pronunciation. For example, “hamburger” should sound like “humm-bu-gar” with an Israeli accent. I seem to stress the wrong syllable, and my Israeli accent is horrendous.

Just imagine what people think when I say “kacha kacha” (it means “so-so”). I have a hard time with the guttural “ch”.

Therefore I never seem to be able to pronounce it correctly. It should sound like “kah-chah” “kah-chah”. Use your imagination for my pronunciation.

Words like “davka” (spitefully) and “mamash” (quite) seem to be thrown into every Israeli sentence whether or not they make sense.

When people greet me, they often ask me how I have been or what's up. I keep getting confused so I just say “kol beseder” (“Everything is okay”) because that seems to answer both questions.

L'hitraot (“see you soon”). Shachar

Shachar is the Hebrew name of a California-based attorney and former Los Angeles County deputy sheriff who moved to Israel 2 ½ years ago.