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Our broadminded liberal friends, marvelous kidders that they are, have been working overtime in stirring up a most bizarre assault.

Anti-war “veterans” groups are demanding that they be allowed to march in tomorrow’s Veterans Day parade in North Long Beach.

As of this morning, the organizers still were holding the line, although that is not regarded as the final-final word.

Naming the Bad Guys

Three balmy groups, “ ‘Veterans’ for Peace,” “Iraq ‘Veterans’ Against the War” and “ ‘Military’ Families Speak Out”— how about those monikers? Straight out of the Bob Hope jokebook? — applied to march in the parade in a single bloc to be known, I presume mockingly, as “Military ‘Patriots.’”

Surely a punch-line is embedded somewhere in that nest of nuttiness.

Anti-war “veterans” — does that phrase set your teeth on edge? — are claiming a place in the parade on the grounds of freedom of speech. They heartily believe in freedom of speech for every liberal in America.

When to Spit and When to Hold

These moral giants spit on American patriotism and tradition — except when it serves their cunning, diversionary purposes.

Anti-war “veterans”? They jest, don’t they?

How about a tall short guy? Or brilliantly illumined darkness? Or a dry rain?

Liberals thrive on physical, cultural and locutional gobbledegook.

Chaos. Disorder. Turmoil. Liberals hug and French kiss those concepts.

Make Mine Lukewarm Fudge, Bartender

Anti-war “veteran,” a grammatical construct only a liberal mother, not a serious Mom, could love.

Disingenuity is their badge of honor.

Blatant dishonesty tastes like a hot fudge sundae when it crash lands on a liberal palate. They slurp it up, letting a little drip onto the shirts they are wearing for the third day in a row.

These solipsists grow fat on juicy juxtapositioning.

I rise between 3:30 and 4 every morning just to study the latest corruption of our language.

Welcome to Clinton-Kerry Flophouse

Anti-war “veterans” is neither euphonius nor accurate.

Unless you are Hillary Clinton or John Kerry, running back and forth across the aisle to cover yourself on both sides of all issues, one who wishes to demonstrate against war should not stain the revered title of “veteran” by linking it to his cause du jour.

The very formulation insults Americans who take their country seriously.

It mocks families whose members have given up their lives to protect these depressed social misfits.

Granting a Second Chance

Val Lerch, the only Long Beach City Councilman to speak publicly about the mess created by the anti-war boys, invited one of the “veterans” to ride with him on a fire truck.

Nice gesture, yes?

Mr. Lerch said he wanted to “honor his service to this nation.”

The honored “veteran’s” response?

He may have taken one bullet too many when he was in uniform. The bum asked Mr. Lerch: “Can I wear my Iraq ‘Veterans’ Against the War tee-shirt?”

Isn’t that like a cheating husband asking if he can bring his girlfriend home for dinner?

“Absolutely not,” replied the Councilman.

“So I respectfully declined,” said the bum.