How to Respond When Suddenly Circumstances Change

Nicholas PollakOP-ED

[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak|remove link|no_popup[/img]One never knows what may happen next. John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens while your busy making plans.”

I was on my way to picking up mail from my business mailbox when I had to make a right turn onto a busy street from a parking lot.

I looked left.

I looked right.

Clear.

As I started to pull out, crunch.

When I looked, and saw that I had hit a cyclist.

Everything changed.

Whatever I had planned immediately was put on hold.

The cyclist had been traveling southbound on the sidewalk (illegal for two reasons – riding on the sidewalk, going against traffic.)

Cyclists are subject to the same street laws as car drivers. While he was wrong, I was more concerned that he had been injured, thankfully only slightly. But his bike was a mess. I offered to take him to a bicycle store 200 yards up the street where I bought a new bike for him on the spot.

Time to Go?

Once purchased and the date for arrival had been confirmed, I asked if he needed a doctor or wanted to go to the E.R. No, he said, he would be all right.

I drove him home, apologized again for the accident, shook his hand and left.

Hopefully, this would be the end.

Just in case, I called my insurance company, not to make a claim, but to let them know what had happened so that they could have a record of this on file in case the cyclist changed his mind and wanted to make a claim.

The incident reminded me that although we like to think that we are in control, other factors will change that perception. In Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, they constantly say, “Let go and let God.” This reminds everyone that there are other ways to live a life than by being very controlled and/or controlling. It allows a person to realize that it is acceptable to let go of the reins and see what happens.

Don’t Be Shy. Make Plans.

Naturally, it is a good idea to make plans, to act on them. This way you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to do. Maintaining your goals in spite of interruptions is an important skill.

Another is allowing yourself to

A philosophy worth noting:

“Problems are what occur when you take your eye off the goal.”

Frequently when we have a goal, we set it aside temporarily to attend to more pressing concerns. The key is to swiftly address the distractions so you may refocus on your original goal.

Your attitude toward interruptions will determine how quickly you return to your goal. Getting angry only slows you down. Recognizing that your goal is still there, if you take a forward step every day, you will remain positive and be on schedule. It is critical to maintain calm.

A great way to schedule your day is to attend to the most difficult tasks first. Our nature is to do the easy ones. That is a disservice because it provides an excuse to continue delaying the difficult obligations.

When you start with the hardest tasks, this allows you to reward yourself by doing the easier ones.

We only have one life. To live it in frustration and anger over unforeseen circumstances is not health. Accept that plans may change. That is a huge step in the right direction.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net